Jason’s babblings.

Good afternoon ladies and gents, boys and girls. Time for another long awaited episode of Tuesdays with Flannel! The last few have been reruns but this one is hot off the presses. This time we’ll be sharing the story of Kevin Bacon.

Kevin Bacon is a man who lives on the streets of New York, as he has been for the last 17 years. He has too much dignity to beg passers-by for food, so he helps serve food at the local homeless shelter in exchange for a reserved room at night, free soup, and a small wage. In his free time he loves to crochet blankets for use in the shelter. Almost everybody who knows him call him Jolly Kay.

Kevin’s situation was caused by a horrible string of bad luck. It all started when he was 19, his parents were involved in a plane accident. He was old enough to survive on his own, according to courts, but he did not have the education to work, nor the source of income to pay for schooling. Halfway decent at poker, he figured he could make his living playing cards. That dream ended, as similar ones do, with Kevin owing lots of money to some shady people. Fortunately he was able to kick the habit and pay back his debt, but he lost his inheritance in the process.

The most recent example of horrible luck in Kevin’s life came when someone of importance learned of an interesting trait of his. He is one of few people who are separated by more than six degrees from the actor Kevin Bacon (nine to be exact), and the only such person to share the same name. One of Kevin’s friends from the New York shelter knew this and tipped off Jed Baker, a writer for Seattle Press. Jed called Kevin at the shelter and offered $5,000 for an interview, and he happily agreed.

“If I can get a few stories like this, I can possibly turn my life around! Buy a suit or two, and finally find a decent job.” Kevin was absolutely giddy at the thought. The day of the interview came around, they met in one of the local Starbucks. Jed Shook Kevin’s hand and said, “Oh no, do you know what this means?” A chill ran down Kevin’s spine. Jed was separated from Kevin Bacon (the actor) by only four degrees. This effectively set Kevin’s bacon number to a paltry five. Jed offered to pay for Kevin’s Orange Mocha Frappuccino but was unable to pay him the $5,000 prize for the interview with such an unimpressive bacon number.

The story of Kevin Bacon is currently being filmed for a Lifetime movie. The part of Kevin is being played by Casey Affleck who was in Ocean’s Eleven with Brad Pitt, who was in Sleepers with Kevin Bacon.

Kevin purchased a nice pair of Reebok tennis shoes with the movie royalties.