Jason’s babblings.

I hope everybody had an excellent non-denominational winter holiday this year. I know I did.

Aside the joy of hanging out with family, old and new, I got a couple bottles of tasty adult beverages, and a lot of gift cards that should keep me entertained for-cheap for quite a while. Even a surprise gift from the Smart Tan peeps that was both greatly appreciated and highly unnecessary. I still have another to go to before the end of the year. Glad there’s only one more too. Yesterday pooped me the heck out.

Did any of my three readers get anything notable this non-denominational winter holiday?

Never before has a group been so awesome only to become so terrible.

That’s all I have for today.

Over the weekend I went to Cedar Point for the last days of Halloweekends. It was pretty cold out, and the lines weren’t any shorter. It really wasn’t more fun than a normal weekend at Cedar Point. I did have a good time, though. The part that sticks out in my mind most is the parts where I came up with three awesome ideas for products.

1) Ketchup Bidet – Much like a regular bidet that removes the need to smear poop on your posterior with toilet paper, a ketchup bidet will remove the need to smear spilled ketchup all over the table with a napkin. Through the power of OxyClean, ketchup will be neatly and quickly washed away. Industrial models brought to you by SuperSoker.

2) Chicken Brat Pie – This is a lot like a chicken pot pie, but instead of a flaky crust, you get a meaty one. The bratwurst sausage will be molded to the bottom of a small pie tin. On top of that is the chicken filling. Then comes another layer of bratwurst meat. Pop it in the oven for 30 minutes and you have some delicious meaty goodness.

3) Corny Dog – Hotdog covered with chili covered with corn bread. Need I say more?

The last day was really slow. Fortunately it was also short. After four hours on the floor we started packing up. It only took 15 minutes to get all our crap out of the booth and on the palette to head back to Michigan. Afterward I met up with Bruce and we did more touring of Nashville – this time of the Vanderbilt University area. After that, we met up with the son of one of our really big customers who also happen to be good friends of Bruce and Tim outside work. I forget the name of the restaurant but they served really good food.

The flight home was alright. Finally got to start the newest Zelda game – the one I had wanted to start all weekend. Got back home to see the excellent job my parents did to spruce up my house a bit. It looks really good and I really appreciate the help they gave over the weekend. I picked up Orange Box and attempted to install Windows XP as a secondary OS – an experience that has reinforced my hatred for Windows. I managed to get the installer to recognize my system to install the upgrade version I had laying around, saving me $200 I would have spent buying a new version, and I’ll be able to play Portal to my heart’s content tomorrow.

I’m squealing with joy at the idea of sleeping in my own bed tonight.

Today was another successful day. Set up early and let the awesomeness of the site work its magic the whole day. We even left the conference floor 2 PM, after Bruce and Tim got here, to take a tour of the downtown area. It reminds me a lot of what Detroit should look like in twenty years. At least I hope it looks this good. We went to a BBQ place for lunch – it was delicious – and we hit up the less-than-stellar Oktoberfest that one of Tim’s friends told him about. Dinner was at a brewery, followed by a ‘party’ that the ST folks were really excited about. It was more of a club shindig than a party. Music too loud to hear anybody talk, lights too dark to see anybody or anything, except the ones that periodically shine in my eyes that I love so much. I stayed for about 5 minutes before heading back to my room. I can deal with the tanning scene, in which I clearly do not belong, but clubs are where I draw the line.

Got up early to set up the network. That went better than I’d hoped. During the show, I was only called once to unlock a door for which I had the only key. I was not bothered a single time regarding the site. I’d call the whole day a huge success. While I wasn’t at the ST booth, I wandered around looking at the tanning stuff and the girls. The tanning booths were funky lookin’ and the girls were… oh my god hot. The chicks from that one tanning show on E! (don’t really watch that channel, couldn’t tell you the name) were there and they’re quite the hotties in person. I got their autograph and the autograph of a chick who was signing posters for the sole reason that she was hot. As far as I could tell she was not famous in the general meaning of the word. I don’t mind.

Oh and here are some pictures. Today it’s a few photos of the hotel and some of the more interesting tanning booths.

THE FLIGHT

The flight was short – almost too short. I didn’t even get to finish the podcast I was listening to. The guy in front of me fell asleep and his head would roll forward then jerk back reflexively. I thought that was really funny for some reason. The cabby who took me to the hotel didn’t wear any shoes.

Speaking of the hotel, we’re staying at the Opryland on Smart Tan’s tab. I’m sure it wasn’t an inexpensive gratitude they showed us, and I really appreciate the opportunity to stay here. It’s friggin huge. I had to ask directions from one of the bellhops to my room. I’ll have some pictures when the trip is done. I’m off to help set up our area.

THE WALKTHROUGH

After arriving to my room, we all walked around the conference hall. But not before me getting lost again, pressing the down button on an elevator, and making some guys who wanted to get off on floor 6 get off on floor 5. It took all I had to not bust out laughing at them. On the way to our meeting place I got confused and managed to find my way onto the conference floor without a badge (which is required). The real walkthrough was uneventful. I can’t wait for gameday tomorrow. Apparently the Dallas cheerleading team might make an appearance.

That brings the total ‘lost’ count to 3, but I’m getting the hang of the place.

PRE-GAME PARTY

Drinks, drinks, drinks! I had a hell of a time hanging out with the ST folks. Jack Daniels’ Bar was a hoot and a half. The live band there kicked lots of ass.

Sorry I’ve been neglectful of this here sitey thing. I’ve been busy as hell – between work and sleep I generally have about four hours per day to do what I want. However there is light at the end of this tunnel. I get to go to Nashville, TN in October to demo the project for a bunch of big-wigs in the tanning industry. No, not leather tanning. Skin tanning. I’ll be out there for a few days and I’ll tell you all about the crazy tan people that I meet as each day comes to an end.

I’m sure they’ll all marvel at my pasty white skin more than the site we created. “You think that’s pasty? Wait till you see my shoulders!”

Lately I’ve been rather obsessed with online comics. You might have noticed the list on the right of this page has grown considerably. In this post I’m going to introduce some of my favorites from this list.

• Fanboys – About 3 people living together, all of whom have declared allegiance to a different video game manufacturer. Lemmy to Nintendo, Paul to Sony (formerly Sega), and Sylvia to Microsoft.
• Goats – A comic about a couple lazy dudes and a talking goat. Through their inter-dimensional adventures, they meet a talking chicken, a talking fish with a split personality, some aliens, talking monkeys, a large broccoli-man, and the devil himself.
• Megatokyo – Piro and Largo, a couple gamers from the states, want to go to the Tokyo Game Show and end up getting stranded in Japan. This beautiful manga is illustrated by a guy who lives in my home-town. The storyline has evolved away from gaming, but there’s still a few references here and there.
• Goblins – A comic in the D&D universe, except the goblins decide they will live under the rules of the Player-Characters instead of the rules for Non-Player-Characters.
• Hockey Zombie – A hockey fanatic dies and returns to the world of the living as a zombie. He can’t control his hunger for brains, and eventually infects an entire city with his zombie disease.
• The Mows – Day-to-day account of the lives of three cats. The author has a very interesting perspective on what’s going through cats’ minds. As a fellow cat-lover, I can’t help but love this comic.
• Bear & Kitten – A bear and a kitten live together and share some crazy, silly adventures.

The following comics are quick reads – often one panel – with a crazy bizarre style of humor. These are updated daily (except PBF) and good for a pick-me-up in the morning. Better than coffee. These are not for the prudish.

• Natalie Dee
• Toothpaste For Dinner (linked from Natalie Dee)
• Married To The Sea (linked from Natalie Dee)
  
• Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
• Explosm
• The Book of Biff
• Perry Bible Fellowship

Again, the links for these comics can be found on the right side of the page if you are interested.

Good afternoon ladies and gents, boys and girls. Time for another long awaited episode of Tuesdays with Flannel! The last few have been reruns but this one is hot off the presses. This time we’ll be sharing the story of Kevin Bacon.

Kevin Bacon is a man who lives on the streets of New York, as he has been for the last 17 years. He has too much dignity to beg passers-by for food, so he helps serve food at the local homeless shelter in exchange for a reserved room at night, free soup, and a small wage. In his free time he loves to crochet blankets for use in the shelter. Almost everybody who knows him call him Jolly Kay.

Kevin’s situation was caused by a horrible string of bad luck. It all started when he was 19, his parents were involved in a plane accident. He was old enough to survive on his own, according to courts, but he did not have the education to work, nor the source of income to pay for schooling. Halfway decent at poker, he figured he could make his living playing cards. That dream ended, as similar ones do, with Kevin owing lots of money to some shady people. Fortunately he was able to kick the habit and pay back his debt, but he lost his inheritance in the process.

The most recent example of horrible luck in Kevin’s life came when someone of importance learned of an interesting trait of his. He is one of few people who are separated by more than six degrees from the actor Kevin Bacon (nine to be exact), and the only such person to share the same name. One of Kevin’s friends from the New York shelter knew this and tipped off Jed Baker, a writer for Seattle Press. Jed called Kevin at the shelter and offered $5,000 for an interview, and he happily agreed.

“If I can get a few stories like this, I can possibly turn my life around! Buy a suit or two, and finally find a decent job.” Kevin was absolutely giddy at the thought. The day of the interview came around, they met in one of the local Starbucks. Jed Shook Kevin’s hand and said, “Oh no, do you know what this means?” A chill ran down Kevin’s spine. Jed was separated from Kevin Bacon (the actor) by only four degrees. This effectively set Kevin’s bacon number to a paltry five. Jed offered to pay for Kevin’s Orange Mocha Frappuccino but was unable to pay him the $5,000 prize for the interview with such an unimpressive bacon number.

The story of Kevin Bacon is currently being filmed for a Lifetime movie. The part of Kevin is being played by Casey Affleck who was in Ocean’s Eleven with Brad Pitt, who was in Sleepers with Kevin Bacon.

Kevin purchased a nice pair of Reebok tennis shoes with the movie royalties.